Day 3

My loving husband Ange is with me again today… Thank god!!!! Believe it or not we hardly get time to spend together, so having this hour, hour 1/2 really means a lot to us.

Love to all of you…

2nd Radiation in 24 HRS

Having radiation at 7pm last night and again at 9:30am this morning is a bit much for me and luckily I don’t have to repeat that timing again. Thank Goodness!! All new times going forward should be around 9-10 each day!!

My team that I have met so far are fabulous, and 1 of them was even part of my first radiation team..

The mask is very tight and I had to have them remove it at the very
beginning because I got so freaked out. They adjusted it, (it still hurt, but much better) unfortunately, ,my claustrophobia definitely gets in the way!!!

My sister arrived this morning right before started which was great for some extra love and support!

I got settled in on the enormous radiation table and held as still as I possibly could. Each turn of switch I could smell a little bit of burning flesh. EWEWEWEEEE!!!!!!

10.10.11 @ 7 pm

Yesterday Ange, Mom, Dad and myself were told that I need whole brain irradiation. Basically, this means 12 days instead of 1, and does not make me happy. The tumor in the front is pushing on my brain and there appears to be a few little suspicious markings along the way that reinforce there decision of treating the entire brain.(see attached image)

Unfortunately, my first appt. is @7 pm. tonight. I’m hoping that they will tell us tonight that my appts. are in the morning going forward.

Please keep your fingers crossed.

Yesterday…

The doorbell rang and the person at the door said he had a flower delivery..The young gentlemen came to the door with the most beautiful arrangement from someone I don’t even know..

The card read..
Dear Jen,
I’ve been following your blog and thought you can use some cheering up. You inspire me every day and you are always in my prayers. Please continuing stay strong, God Bless.

I cried..and am very grateful..

Loving Laura

Woke up at 6 am at the sound of my dear husbands alarm clock to make sure I take my morning pills. Unfortunately, I have to take the heaping number with food. So I searched for “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”, (my sister, Laura told me just yesterday it was new to Netflix ” Watch Instantly”) became inspired by her breakfast outside Tiffany’s, and made myself some toast with jam, drank down the pills, and crawled back in bed with my belly pull of pills, toast and jam in front of me, delicious husband next to me and my new Teddy Bear, Tammy (given to me by my sweet nurse, Cynthia) and named by my darling niece, Victoria.

So this is where I lay… with Ange, Tammy, and Holly GoLightly..

Things have been hard…

I have had quite a few hard days lately.. After getting out of the hospital on Sunday, and meeting with my oncologist on Tuesday, meeting with visiting nurse services on Monday and Thursday and being in so much pain yesterday afternoon and into the evening I couldn’t stop crying. The pain was really difficult because it reminded me of my dads parents when they were suffering through cancer… I remember hearing the groans in pain…awful..thank goodness Ange called the emergency oncologists and pain team and was able to get my pain meds increased..

Send lots of good thoughts to all those you love…

For today…

Since I last wrote to you the other day a few things have changed. Nurses and some family had noticed that I seemed somewhat confused so they ordered an MRI of the brain a few days ago. Much to our surprise their are two lesions on my brain. 1 in the front left that appears to be press ion on my brain, and the other in the back right, both are quite small. This morning they want to see if the front left lesion has spread a bit, so they will be doing a spinal tap early this morning. After my morning labs come back and hopefully show my blood counts in normal range I will have my chemo here in they hospital.

Once they tests come back in a few days, they can determine what type of treatment they will do. They have pretty much ruled out surgery, so they just need to figure out which type of radiation they will do. We hope to know these answers by the beginning of next week, so we can quickly start treatment on the lesions of my brain. This is very important because we need to coincide the brain treatment with my regular chemotherapy.

Here I am..

Sorry to have been away for a bit, but I’ve had some troubling days..I was admitted to the hospital last Thursday afternoon because I had pain in my left side and shoulder. Turns out the PAIN was very serious. It appears that my liver is swollen, which is causing the pain in my diaphragm. Their is also another nodule that we have been watching for years, that has now doubled in size. I’ve had a million tests and met with a million more doctors..

More to come soon!!

xoxo

Bad days

I’ve been having a few bad days….the other day I was walking with my cane and both of my legs gave out. I tried to stand back up, but I couldn’t. Thank goodness Ange was with me, he got behind me and picked me up, then he helped me walk slowly to a bench. My left knee was bleeding, but luckily my friend Erin, Isabella\'s Mom, had a bandaid. I had to hold in the uncontrollable tears that wanted to flow..it scared the crap out of me that my legs gave out, and lately I have been very tired. I’m trying to think it’s like the other ladies in my group who are experiencing the same thing, but my nurse just called and said that just to be sure they are taking an extra blood test on Friday to make sure it’s not my liver enzymes.

Every time I cry it hurts.. My eyes burn and my body clenches in pain..

Just now as I was typing I received a text from Isabella’s Mom…Please,Please include Isabella, Erin (Mom, Stuart (Dad), Grant(little brother), and Sophia(little sister) in your prayers…even if you don’t pray…please do today for me…

Been a little quiet lately…

I’m so sorry that I have been a little quiet latetly. I’ve just been super tired, and it seems I barely have energy to go to my appointments.
When I went to group yesterday I told them how tired I was and that I was wondering if it had anything to do with my doctor decreasing my pain meds. Everyone in the group agreed that it could either be the decreasing of the pain meds or the Taxotere, so it’s not exactly clear which it is. But hopefully sometime soon these symptoms will go away. And then all of the other ones will follow suit.