I was able to receive chemo yesterday in the hospital which was great!! But, having spent 3 weeks in the hospital just to go home for 1 week and be back in the hospital again makes me want to take things very slow.
The doc just came in and I convinced her to keep me until after my Neupogen shot tomorrow…which is a good compromise…

I’ll let you know what happens

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Last Night

Last night as I kissed my husband goodbye, I told him about this couple we had met on the floor a couple of months ago, and that the woman was dying just a few doors down. The husband asked if I would visit, but I just can’t right now. I am not ready to stare that in the face…My mother said she would go down today, but I imagine that it would be hard for her too. I don’t know…maybe we should all just focus on ourselves, make sure we are all ok.

Then Angelo looked me in the eye and told me that our dear friend, Lynn passed away that morning, and the tears flowed. I have never met Lynn face to face but we spoke on the phone and emailed when we could. Angelo was actually introduced to her husband, by our social worker because they have a lot in common so I met her through Ange.

This is some scary crap, it’s too close right now so I need to focus on me. And I need all of you to focus on yourselves so we can be strong for each other. There is nothing I love more than visitors, but I ask that you check in with Ange or I before coming for a visit so we don’t overlap too much.

Today I will promise to take a nap and really take care of myself, and I ask that you do the same.


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Here I am again

Sorry it has been so long again since I last wrote..I wound up back in the hospital Wednesday night. I was throwing up, not eating, and my sugar was low..turns out my body NEEDS this shot that boosts your immune system after every chemo (no matter how long of a break I have in between)
So I spent the night in urgent care (total drag) but around 10:30am they brought me up for X-rays and then finally around 12:30pm I was in my hospital bed.
In urgent care they took blood cultures and we got the results yesterday afternoon that I have a bacterial infection in my port. So they are trying to treat it with IV drugs and i should find out today if its working. I feel much better today than I did before, so I’m hopeful that the Mac-Daddy of all anti-biotics they are giving me will kick it in the butt..

I’m in room 1021A which I have never been in and has a great view that I have attached..

Thank you so much for all of your love and support!


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Day 21

Picture of the moon the day I’M GOING HOME!!!!


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Day 20

First of all I’m sorry that it has been so long since I have written!
Secondly, I wanted to tell you how honored I was that my friend Sasha ran the NYC Marathon honoring me on the back of her shirt! And lastly, there are some rumors that I MIGHT get out of here tonight…
if not Tuesday???

The last few days have been filled with changing meds, putting on and taking off support hose because of swelling in my right leg. I had some lovely visitors this past weekend that made me laugh and then cry when they had to go home.


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I know I use that word a lot, but it is the only word that says I’m having a crap day.
I woke up at 3:30 AM in severe pain!
My sweet nurse tried everything she could to take it all away!!!!
But nothing…

They switched my Meds over to a preservative free version, which seems to be helping a bit….
Sweet Ange is by my side today trying his very best to make me comfortable.


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Sorry it’s been so long….

Lots of snow falling in NYC right now!!!! If only my bed faced that direction
So it could distract me from the PAIN. I’m having in my right leg from swelling, the PAIN I’m having on my right side from liver, and just total exhaustion…

Sorry it’s been soo long since I last wrote:(


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I’m lying in bed trying to pass the time until I have a procedure at 4 pm today. The procedure is to help with the pain around my liver. They go through my back which help the nerves in my tummy not go to my Liver.


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I do not want to go into how awful a day yesterday was, so I won’t.

But, just a few minutes ago I asked my very sweet nurse, Grace, who my nurse would be today. After I told her the reason for my concern from yesterday, she took my hand, very gently in hers, looked me in the eye and apologized for what happened yesterday.

Now, that is the true meaning of Grace.

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6 treatments down…

=hard stuff
The mask is creepy looking, that’s why keep my eyes closed until it’s over… Saying Laura G’s mantra….”healing in, cancer blow out”. Every morning she reminds me….


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