Sorry that I havent written anything lately.. After chemo on Friday Ange went out to dinner with my Dad and Mom and I ordered a movie and takeout. Every so often they draw blood to check my tumor markers and Friday was a blood draw day. Usually, later the same day they draw blood, I can go online and look at the results. So I looked at the results with my Mom by my side, and they were not where I wanted them to be. Both markers that measure inflammation were elevated from 3 weeks ago, which is so upsetting.. There are quite a few women that don’t even look at their numbers, but I feel like it is a piece to my puzzle, and they have always coincided with what happens with my PET scan I have to look.

So….. since I looked on Friday and I’m not happy with where the numbers are, I am not happy… I spoke to my oncologists’s nurse today to see what the plan will be..but I have to wait until tomorrow because my Doctor was out of the office today.. I wish I didn’t have wait until tomorrow, but there is nothing I can do about it…

So again, please excuse my silence..

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17 Responses to Sorry…

  1. Katie Chery says:

    No need for apologies. How I wish the results were what you (and all of us) wanted to see. I’m glad your mom was with you to help take the information in stride. And give some hugs. I hope that while you endure the waiting you draw upon all of the tools you have discovered that help you stay positive and calm–breathing, meditation, movies, whatever it may be that helps the most. Your silence is perfectly fine with everyone, but always remember to use us whenever you need an ear or a smile.

  2. Kendra says:

    I second that – no need for apologies at all. I am so so sorry (and expletives of frustration just came out of my mouth) to hear that your tumor markers were elevated from 3 weeks ago my dear Jen. I so wish you had different news but I’m glad that your mom was there by your side, and that your parents were in town this weekend. Sending you and Ange and your parents buckets and buckets of love and peace tonight. Love you dearly and I hope I get to see you and Ange this week, maybe for some meditation? XXXOOO

  3. Nicole says:

    I’m sorry to read this. I will be thinking of you and sending good thoughts/vibes/prayers.

  4. lu says:

    i’m sad that your numbers are up…i’m sad that you are sad…i’m sad that you feel like you have to apologize…i’m happy that your mom was sitting next to you at that moment…nothing like the hug of our mom… as always, sending so much love to you both. healing thoughts…healing thoughts…and comfort.

  5. Jessica says:

    never feel pressure to write…you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I can only imagine how frustrating it is to have to wait to talk to your doctor, and how disappointing that your #s are up. Let’s wait to hear what she says though — maybe there’s a reason, or a suggestion that she has. I’m also so glad that you’re with your mom and dad and Ange. Sending love love and love.

  6. Patrick says:

    Hi honey. Just wanted to tell you that I think about you every day and appreciate the updates. You never need to apologize for not writing! So very sorry and upsetting to hear about the numbers, am saying prayers for you tonight and sending good vibes. And may I recommend the first season of Glee- pretty fabulous and distracting. I’m always here for you and I wish I could come by and watch House Hunters or whatever that show is again with you and just help out. You are such an amazing woman and I am so lucky to have you as a friend. Thank god for your family- truly the biggest blessing and so grateful that they can visit you!!! And also I am so grateful that you and Ange have each other! Love you and hope they come up with a good plan tomorrow, dammit! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo always

  7. Dianna Kamp says:

    We are here. That’s it. Love You. HUGGG

  8. Sasha says:

    Never need to apologize. I echo everyone here. We love you. We are here for you. Always.

  9. Anne Bickett says:

    Dear Jenny,

    So sorry to hear about the latest blood tests. Today in my junior English classes, I asked my students who their heroes were. They had a tough time with this at first, so I said, “Let me give you an example. I will tell you about my #1 hero. I proceeded to tell them all about you – your beauty inside and outside, your courage, your strength, and the “fight” you have managed to battle this cancer with. I meant every word of what I said. Your are my hero, Jenny. We pray for you every day. Keep fighting!

    Aunt Anne

  10. Alyce says:

    My first reaction to your news was #$%^!!! I realize that doesn’t help, but it’s how I feel. I continue to pray for you several times a day. It is hard for me to understand why I was so lucky and you have to go through all of this everyday. Aunt Anne, Beth and I will be walking in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure Saturday in Cleveland. We will be walking for you. I will continue to pray and do whatever I can do to raise funds for cancer research so that they might find some sort of drug that will attack those nasty cells in your body. Much love and big hugs to you and Ange. Glad your Mom and Dad could be with you guys for a few days. Aunt Alyce

  11. Michelle says:

    Jen, I echo what everyone has said here. No apologizing. We are here for you. Sending love, hugs and healing thoughts.

  12. Sending you all my love. We are all here for you. xo

  13. Sasha says:

    Love you.

  14. mamerendino says:

    Hi dear heart, well, that is not the news you want, but I hope you are eating well and sleeping well to keep up your strength. You are certainly strong in your spirit and mind and I am very excited to see you in a few short weeks – Elizabeth’s wedding and my NY visit. Talked with Ange tonight, woo-hoo!

  15. Ann says:

    Nothing to be sorry about. Escape is good…it keeps us sane. I pray for your reality to be a better place to be.

  16. Suzi says:

    Thinking about you and sending you lots of love!

  17. Lisa says:

    So sorry to hear this….I find that I pray more these days, and you and Angelo are in mine, even though I only know you virtually! Thinking of you guys….
    Lisa Kurtz-Myers

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