Last night Ange and I had a tearful discussion about Elena, and my desperate need to know exactly what happened to her. She was making me laugh only 2 weeks before and now she is gone. I know that everyone is different but maybe if I asked some questions I could find a piece of information that would make the difference. This is something that I felt I needed to do, and there was no way to change my mind..
I slept until 11:44 am which was amazing!!! I still was up 8 million times throughout the night, but I didn’t get out of bed until then!! I guess all these tears allowed me to get some rest.
I scrambled when I woke up and rushed to Sloan for my group therapy…and I’m sooooo glad I went today….we cried as we spoke of Elena, and all of the things we would miss about her. I don’t want to discuss what goes on in my group, but I can tell you that I felt so much better when I left. I feel like I understood some of the choices that Elena made a little bit better and with the help of the group, and Angelo last night, I made some steps towards helping myself.
After group I went straight to treatment. (Today I had a little help from Erin and Isabella with some numbing cream for my port!!!!) It still hurt a little bit, but according to the nurse I need to leave it on a bit longer and I will be good to go next time. I’m off treatment next week, but back on for the following..