Last night…

Last night Ange and I had a tearful discussion about Elena, and my desperate need to know exactly what happened to her. She was making me laugh only 2 weeks before and now she is gone. I know that everyone is different but maybe if I asked some questions I could find a piece of information that would make the difference. This is something that I felt I needed to do, and there was no way to change my mind..

my tears

I slept until 11:44 am which was amazing!!! I still was up 8 million times throughout the night, but I didn’t get out of bed until then!! I guess all these tears allowed me to get some rest.

I scrambled when I woke up and rushed to Sloan for my group therapy…and I’m sooooo glad I went today….we cried as we spoke of Elena, and all of the things we would miss about her.  I don’t want to discuss what goes on in my group, but I can tell you that I felt so much better when I left.  I feel like I understood some of the choices that Elena made a little bit better and with the help of the group, and Angelo last night, I made some steps towards helping myself.

After group I went straight to treatment. (Today I had a little help from Erin and Isabella with some numbing cream for my port!!!!)  It still hurt a little bit, but according to the nurse I need to leave it on a bit longer and I will be good to go next time.  I’m off treatment next week, but back on for the following..

xo

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5 Responses to Last night…

  1. Suzi says:

    Jen-
    So sorry to hear about your friend Elena. I’m so sorry for your loss and all those who loved her. This disease makes no sense and takes people much too soon. I’m thinking about you and sending you lots and lots of love.

  2. lars192 says:

    Jennifer, So glad you found some answers today. Such good friends helping each other through this crappy disease. Here is hoping you can have a joyful weekend together. Remember the 12th is just a few days away.

    Love You
    Dad

  3. Sasha says:

    I’m so so glad you went to group and found it helpful and got some answers. Love you, Jen. Hope you can sleep as soundly tonight.

  4. Sasha says:

    Thinking of you this morning. The photo of your tears breaks my heart….

  5. Colleen says:

    I am thinking of you my dearest sweetpea. I am glad you are asking questions which may be hard to ask but which can help you process your feelings. I am so very sorry for the loss of your friend. Love you. xo

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