It’s been hard to write…

I met with my oncologist on Friday, had treatment and everything was ok..or so I thought.

Angelo and I sat in one of the chemo rooms and the social worker, who we both love came in the room(she was helping us get a room quicker because it was taking so long)

She stepped out of the room and came back in, shut the door and sat down.

“Jen” she said, “I have to tell you something”…Fuck, i knew this meant that someone I was close to passed away. I quickly fell into my chair and demanded she tell me the name..”Elena” she said..another Fuck!!!! I had just seen her not that long ago and she was fine. We had laughed about her belly.( it was sticking out so much she couldn’t button her pants)

I sobbed and sobbed..why did this happen to her??? Why is this happening to me?

I’m numb…

Please say a prayer for my sweet friend Elena…(she just turned 40 this week)

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11 Responses to It’s been hard to write…

  1. Tracy Deitrick says:

    I am so sorry you lost a dear friend. You’re both in my prayers tonight.

  2. Sasha says:

    Jen, as you know, I have been so so sad since hearing this. I am so sad for Elena, who I liked so much, I am sad with you that you have lost another friend and that you have to face this devastation and fear. I hate that you have to ask all these why’s. I don’t understand why either. It’s completely nonsensical. I love you and am here for you always.

  3. Patrick says:

    Hey sweetheart,
    What horrible news. I so strongly wish that this wasn’t happening to you. I read Angelo’s “about” section with the photos and was not pleased to hear about all of the daily things you are dealing with. I will say a prayer for Elena tonight. I wish I could be there in person right now. Maybe I get there soon. Love you so much and am going to run your cancer over with my car tomorrow morning, just sayin’. Love you babe!

    • Katie Chery says:

      I am so sorry to hear the news about Elena. On many levels it’s hard and goodness, I wish that there just wasn’t quite so much to bear. I will keep her in my thoughts. You are always there of course. I love you. Xxxooo

  4. Janiece says:

    You and Ange are always in my thoughts and prayers, and now Elena has a place there as well. OXOX

  5. Kendra says:

    Oh Jennifer, I am so so sorry and sad to hear you lost a very dear friend. I second Sasha’s thoughts – I am so sad to know that you are facing this devastation and fear. Elena will be in my prayers every single day, as are you, and I send my heart to you tonight. Much love to you my friend. xxoo

  6. lu says:

    there are no words…gentle hugs, dear friend. can’t imagine how deeply this is felt…holding you close in my heart tonight…

  7. Jeannette says:

    I’m so sorry, Jen. Losing a friend to cancer is one of the saddest, most conflicting feelings I’ve ever felt. Sooo many “WHYs??!!”…it totally sucks. When you go through cancer with others, they will always be a part of you no matter where they are and Elena will always, ALWAYS be with you. XO

  8. Sasha says:

    Thinking of you today. Thinking of Elena. Thinking of what you must bear. Wishing I could take it away. In celebration of you, I changed my profile pic on FB back to the one of us. I can’t wait for Ange to take a new one. Love you both,

  9. Terri Lebangood says:

    Jen, I love you and feel prays really work. I am so sorry for you loss. I pray and vote for you all the time. I know you can beat this you sound as if you are a strong person. I am a resent breast cancer survivor, I had stage 2 and only a lumpectamy and 10 lymph nodes out. I cannot imagine what you are going through. God bless you, I love you.

    Terri

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