Sunday night before I went to bed, I felt incredibly sad. Ange asked me what was wrong and I began to sob..I realized that I was able to escape my cancer life a bit this past weekend, but back at home, I fell right back into it. I wasn’t looking for an answer I just needed to let go of those feelings. Thank goodness for Ange… he held me tight and I was able to calm myself down.
I had a physical therapy appointment yesterday morning from the visiting nurse service and it felt like we weren’t getting anywhere. She told me she didn’t think we should meet one last time, and I told her
this was really her decision, but I felt like I still needed a lot of help. (especially since I’m still using a walkers and a cane) we did some work outside and she finally said we should meet one last time to come up with a plan so I heal properly.
Later on yesterday I had an appointment with Dr. Glare, the pain doc. Ange and I were really looking forward to meeting with him because we were hopeful that we could begin decreasing my pain meds. And I am happy to report that we have started to decrease the pills today. The plan is to decrease 1 pill per dose, and within 48 hours if i was still able to feel pain then I would adjust my dose. The nurse stepped into the conversation and said that she likes to go a bit slower than Dr. glare, and suggested that we decrease pills on a weekly dosage. Ange and I felt more comfortable with this plan, since we could always shorten it if we wanted to move things a bit quicker.
Wish us luck… I would love to be able to have a glass of wine or 2 or 3 on my family vacation at the end of July!!
I can understand your feelings Sunday night. After strong, strong, strong, strong, strong, and strong comes the need to let go a little. Maybe that kind of release opens you up for recharging. I hope so. I’m so glad that the PT will return and that the nurse spoke up about taking it slower with the pain med decrease. I am wishing you luck this very moment. And now this moment. And again. You get the idea. 😉 I love you so much!
by Deborah Pangallo at Wednesday, June 29, 2011, 2:06 PM
so glad you are moving in a good direction- hope that there is a great red wine waiting at the end of July – if that isn’t inspiration then I don’t know what is – Ange is an amazing human being and so are you – love to you both
Deb & Bobby
by Lu Semenzin at Wednesday, June 29, 2011, 9:02 PM
sad that you had to have such a rough night sunday, AND we all know how cleansing a good cry can be…may have been just what you needed start the week fresh…painful, but healing…always looking for the healing for you, friend!! be patient with the meds…sounds like you have a good plan in place…sending so much love to you both…
by Alyce Wagner at Thursday, June 30, 2011, 11:18 AM
I am so glad that you were able to come to Ohio and be with family for a few days. I wish there would have been more time so I could have seen you and Ange and given you both a big hug. I have only had my life touched by what you are going through and what you live with everyday. Your strength and your fight simply amaze me. It is wonderful to hear that they are going to wean you off the pain meds. Here”s hoping that you can enjoy several glasses of great wine on your vacation. I wish the very best for you and Agne. You are an amazing couple whom I love very much.