The girl who wrote in these pages back in 2008…in 2009…the girl who was shocked by what she had just been through..the girl who was learning how to cope with life again..the girl who worried about the way her chest looked…the girl who wouldn’t cut her hair because the memory of being bald was still too close..the girl who was trying to fit back into my friendships..I want to be that girl who wrote all those pages before cancer came back…all those things I worried about I wish were all I had to worry about now..I’m stunned that this is my life…
i’m angry that this is your life. and stunned. and unbelievably sad. you have faced this shit with such grace and strength and honesty…i am going to continue to pray that in 2013 you will be looking back on 2011 with disbelief and gratitude that you are now cancer free. that’s what i’m going to keep hoping and praying for. in the meantime, i am so sorry that you have to struggle with all of this. adore you. admire you. miss you. love you.
by Sasha Rau at Sunday, April 10, 2011, 9:39 AM
I am also angry and stunned and sad that you have to face this. I am also hoping we can look back at this time when you have NED and reflect on how strongly, gracefully and honestly you have experienced this most difficult time. I also adore you, admire you, miss you, and love you…
by Tina Esposito at Monday, April 11, 2011, 1:17 PM
I remember that girl in 2008-2009. As I was then I am still now in amazement that you carry yourself with such grace and strength. We will all be praying and hoping we can look back on this 2011 and have thanks that you are cancer free! Jen, I hope you feel all the pouring out of love and support…miss you dearly my friend! Love, Tina
by Erin Santos at Tuesday, April 12, 2011, 9:17 AM
Happy that they are switching gears on treatment. I always hate when you hear that something they gave you didn’t help and you went through all that. Great things have been done by drugs that recently got approved. Here’s hoping this one does the trick. Miss you tons..
by Jessica Moser at Tuesday, April 12, 2011, 1:13 PM
I believe all of us who love you are stunned that this is your life too. You – so good, funny, smart, brave and honorable — don’t deserve this crap. Back in 09 you were struggling with real issues too, and I know they felt as insurmountable as what you’re struggling with now. My point is that you and your strength and willingness made it through, and made the choices that were right for you. It sucks that you can’t be that girl anymore, but you will make those right choices again. Because you are still you, despite what has been thrown in your way — you are still the best parts of that girl – your essence, your core is intact.
love you love you
by Lisa Stein at Tuesday, April 12, 2011, 6:46 PM
I have always wanted to believe that life is a zero sum game and that only good things can happen to good people. However I am old enough (not necessarily wise enough) to know that this is not the case – as there are way too many assholes out there doing just fine. I am however a believer in the things that are most important to us and most precious to us we need to fight for and the rest, at the end of the day, is just noise. We all hate that you have to fight this fight – our beautiful, sweet, funny, inspirational, brave and sometimes sarcastic – Jen. But when you turn around and look in your corner, do you see us – all of us that love you so – we are here for you. We hear you. We are fighting not just with you but for you as well because you are so important to us and you are so precious to us.
by Jennifer Merendino at Wednesday, April 13, 2011, 6:06 AM
OMG!!! Jess and Lisa… Thank you so much for your notes..you both brought up some good points. And brought me to tears….thank you for being my friends, always in my corner, and reminding me that I am very lucky to be loved by you and so many others…