Originally Posted 3.11.2011 “went to bed sobbing..”

woke up sobbing…
poor Ange..I know it has to be hard to deal with me, although he does it with such love…
My hip/back area are hurting me and there is a bit of swelling in my left groin..im tired of feeling like crap.. right now especially since I don’t know that the drug is acutally working for me..its the unknown…where you have to watch the numbers grow, and trust that eveything is under control..
i feel like a zombie right now..waiting for news..waiting for chemo…waiting to feel crappy..

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by Michelle Tolpa at Friday, March 11, 2011, 11:49 AM


Jen. I’m so sorry this is all happening. I’m here. I love u.

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by Jessica Moser at Friday, March 11, 2011, 1:35 PM


Jen, I’m so sorry too – you are dealing with so much, it is no surprise that you’re feeling like a zombie right now. I’m glad that though that you’re not burying your feelings — I know it must take its toll on Ange, but it would be worse on both of you if you hid it somewhere, so good for you for being honest. I know that can be hard in itself.

It totally sucks that you have to take drugs that you give you such bad side effects without even the confidence that they’re working.
\
I wish I could take it all away for you, and make everything ok. Sending you love and hoping that the side effects this treatment won’t be as bad as the others.

love love love you

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by Aimee Merendino at Friday, March 11, 2011, 7:51 PM


I am glad you can share all this but I am so sorry that this is all happening. I wish there was a way to help more, do more, make you better…wish we could be there to distract you, or to listen, whatever you need. Love you and Ange so much and think of you each day…

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by Sasha Rau at Friday, March 11, 2011, 8:24 PM


Jen, I echo what everyone has said. I am grateful that you are sharing your truth with us and I am pained that we can’t just take it all away from you. I love you so much. I am here for you…

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by Lu Semenzin at Saturday, March 12, 2011, 9:01 AM


sweet friend…a gentle reminder…it’s not YOU that’s hard to deal with, it’s cancer. please try to not take that on…i trust what ange is tired of is cancer, and seeing his love in pain and sadness. so very different than being tired of you. YOU are an inspiration and courageous fighter…who can tire of that? i can only imagine the journey you are both on, and like everyone else here feel so frustrated that i can’t make it all better. confession…the unknown is terrifying for me too. and i am going to trust that the medications are working until something proves that different. and then will pray again that the next option does what it needs to do. i’m in this fight with you and the minute you think of how i can be of service to you and angelo, please let me know. in the meantme, friends in nyc, please add an extra squeeze the next time you see this beautiful lady…i really do miss you terribly…remember when you lived right up the road in lakewood? sending love and light to you this saturday morning, jennifer wise merendino. ps…did you see the note on my fb profile?

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by Alyce Wagner at Saturday, March 12, 2011, 12:49 PM


Jenny – You are my mentor and my hero. You have done so much for me these past few weeks. I can’t tell you how much it has helped me to talk to you about this disgusting disease. I hate it that you have to suffer the way you do. I just keep praying for a miracle. We both know that they happen. Lots of nice warm fuzzy hugs to you…try to float on that raft and pretend that you’re in the nice warm sunshine. Love you so much.

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by Sasha Rau at Saturday, March 12, 2011, 4:42 PM


Yes, what Lu said is so true: “it’s not YOU that’s hard to deal with, it’s cancer…You are an inspiration and courageous fighter… who can tire of that?”
Love you.

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