all weekend i was moody..trying desperately to be nice..trying to just keep my big fat mouth shut..such rudeness flies out of it at times, i am astonished that its me..
i hate when i act that way..i feel so bad afterwards (like an abuser would i imagine) i just want to take it back..
i am so grateful for every moment and here i am wasting moments by being a jerk..
angelo is sooo patient..but he has his breaking points too..how much bitchiness can/should one person take..
i have appointments coming up which i think make me crazy, even if I don’t think they do..all this fucking unknown stuff can drive a person to lose it!!
going home tonight to do nothing..tv, no phone and the couch..
by Camille & Larry Wise at Wednesday, October 20, 2010, 6:41 AM
So sorry I wasn’t there to help console you Jen. Even though I am sometimes on the receiving end of moodiness, I have to stop and say. This isn’t the real person coming out. It is the affects of someones pain or the results of chemicals. The fact you realize it and care is enough right now. Love You!!!!!
by Laura Webb at Wednesday, October 20, 2010, 1:21 PM
Jen – again – stop being so hard on yourself. You are allowed to let it out once in a while. I know how scary the scans are for me, and I was the crazy fearless one in the family. I wish I were there with you too – or I could take them and the rest of the crap away from you. I love you so much! So tonight – chill out – maybe a glass of wine and a little serial killing? I know a good murder makes me smile now and then… If not in a Dexter mood – how about a little Murder She Wrote – all 39 seasons on Netflix to help escape the day – I’ll do the same tonight and we can pretend we are chilling together. You can even imagine me rubbing your feet….
by jennifer howard at Wednesday, October 20, 2010, 5:19 PM
Jen – Be easy on yourself. It’s only human to be angry and need an outlet. Everyone who knows you, knows you…you know what I mean? Your Dad is wise to say that the fact that you realize it and care is enough right now. Aren’t Dads the best!?!