now i know i only come here to vent..and to get stuff off of my chest if im sad..so here i am.. the last couple of days i have been feeling very anxious..very sad..i don’t know exactly why..although i wonder if its because of the time of year and reflecting on what i went through last year..i absolutely have moments where the thought of cancer leaves for a second..but then it comes back..it feels more gentle but im feeling very frustrated right now..trying to figure out again..where i fit in my life..
by Margaret Herring at Tuesday, May 26, 2009, 10:02 AM
Hi Jenny, I haven’t logged on in a while and I found myself wondering how you were doing. I’m so sorry you are dealing with anxiety and sadness right now. Maybe you are having some post traumatic stress. Please do take good care of yourself and leave time to find your niche. It’s there, just waiting for you…and then you will feel more peace. I’m glad thoughts of the big C leave you for a little while. And I hope those times become more and more! After my surgery, I thought it would always be the first thing I thought of when I woke up. And then some time passed (okay, lots of time) and one day it wasn’t the first thing I thought of when I woke up. Much love to you, Margaret
by Michelle Tolpa at Wednesday, May 27, 2009, 10:40 AM
HA I havent been in here in a while but i knew I would find you here! I cant pretend to understand how you are feeling but I think Margaret’s words explain it to me. I love you very much and I wish i could take it all away for you. I love you too Margaret and for always being in here waiting to support Jen when she needs it. Kisses and Huggies
by Lu Semenzin at Saturday, July 11, 2009, 8:47 PM
hi sweet friend. i can’t pretend to know what you are going through either, except to relate it to my experience. i continue to have the sensation of not knowing “where i fit in my life”. i’ve always explained the biggest bit of “scar tissue” remaining from my ordeal was that i lost my “sense of self”. i still struggle to find it. but with time, for me, has come the clarity that everyone, having faced their mortality or not, goes through life seeking their purpose. their sense of self. trying to find where they “fit in their life”. the blessing we have, is that we have more awareness that this search is taking place. we no longer have the luxury of stumbling through life with blinders on wondering “why?”. we are burdened, or blessed, with the knowledge that we can create much of what our lives will hold, and in that is an unknowing and for me, fear. you are blessed, my dear, dear friend. and so so smart and so much more proactive than i have been able to be. my dream for you is that you find beauty and adventure in your quest for self…knowing that you have a lovely man to share the journey, pleasure and pain, and ultimately, triumph.
smooches and love to you ~ lu