Last Night

Last night as I kissed my husband goodbye, I told him about this couple we had met on the floor a couple of months ago, and that the woman was dying just a few doors down. The husband asked if I would visit, but I just can’t right now. I am not ready to stare that in the face…My mother said she would go down today, but I imagine that it would be hard for her too. I don’t know…maybe we should all just focus on ourselves, make sure we are all ok.

Then Angelo looked me in the eye and told me that our dear friend, Lynn passed away that morning, and the tears flowed. I have never met Lynn face to face but we spoke on the phone and emailed when we could. Angelo was actually introduced to her husband, by our social worker because they have a lot in common so I met her through Ange.

This is some scary crap, it’s too close right now so I need to focus on me. And I need all of you to focus on yourselves so we can be strong for each other. There is nothing I love more than visitors, but I ask that you check in with Ange or I before coming for a visit so we don’t overlap too much.

Today I will promise to take a nap and really take care of myself, and I ask that you do the same.

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15 Responses to Last Night

  1. lu says:

    i’m so sorry to hear you’ve lost another friend, jennifer. you need to do what feels right for you, if ever there is a time for you to be selfish, this is it. take care of yourself today,and the rest of us will worry about the rest of us. much love to you…even when your news is sad and difficult, i’m always happy to “hear” your voice.

  2. Laura says:

    Jen, please focus your energy and stength on healing yourself. We will send additional love and light to Lynn and your neighbor and their families for you. They will understand and would want you to focus on taking care of yourself. Nap and rest, watch movies, trash TV or read magazines…effortless, mindless, relaxing, good for napping. Sending you light, love, laughter and big hugs…

  3. Kendra says:

    I second Lu and Laura – refill your well of healing and love today Jen. Do what is perfectly right for you and makes your heart sing, and know that we all support you every second of the day. I’m so so sorry to hear about your friend Lynn and your neighbor. Love you and Ange so much and I’m sending wells of healing, love and support to you this afternoon.

  4. Michelle says:

    I’m in agreement with with the ladies. I’m so sorry to hear about your friend Lynn and your other friend. May god bless them both. Please do take time to take care if you. Be selfish and focus on healing you. Don’t worry about us, we are always here standing beside you even in silence. Sending you big warm cozy healing love and it’s blanketing you all over. I love you. Xoxo

  5. Nancy says:

    Sending you raspberry sorbet filled kisses ; ) xo

  6. Katie Chery says:

    I hope, hope, hope you did just what you needed to today, whether it was the nap, or a great movie, or a snuggle with Tammy, or all of the above, anything that made your heart sing as Kendra put it. I’m always there with you in spirit, sending my love, cheering you on, holding your hand. Xxxxoooo

  7. I’m sorry for your sadnesses. Taking care of yourself is what is best for us all! Your friends are in my thoughts and prayers…

  8. Sasha says:

    I am so sorry about Lynn and the couple downstairs. This is so scary. I’m here to come hold your hand anytime. Just say the word. Love you tremendously.

  9. Jessica says:

    Jen, I’m so very sorry that you and Ange are having to deal with more losses, other losses. And I want to just say how glad I am that you are looking out for yourself – recognizing what protection is essential, what boundaries you must stick to. So wise of you. I know it’s not easy. But I promise we all do better with direction, so keep it coming as needed. I hope you did take care of yourself yesterday and that you’re feeling better for it today. Sending you love love love love love.

  10. Patrick says:

    Hey you. I agree with the ladies. So glad you are taking care of yourself. I will do the same today. Love you so much! We are all here for you and do not ever feel bad about doing what you need to do. Sending good vobes all day to you! xoxoxoxoxoxo

  11. Jen Brunett says:

    This was such a beautiful post. Sending you all the hugs, love, and healing from the other side of the state. xx

  12. Tina says:

    Very well put Jen..I agree with you. If we all take care of ourselves, then taking care of each other will be easy!! Love you even more for sharing this. My prayers for EVERYONE that has to deal with this evil. XOXO Tina
    p.s. Hope Angelo’s showing was everything and MORE that he thought it would be!

  13. colleen says:

    Thinking of you my darling. And I am glad you are so mindful of taking care of yourself. I will do the same. I am sending you hugs wrapped in sunshine wrapped in kisses. Love, xo

  14. Sasha says:

    Love you again.

  15. Maurey says:

    When I was going through treatment I remember this very well. When I was diagnosed I thought I would probably meet wonderful people then have to watch them die. And exactly that did happen. The other thing that in all honesty really annoyed me were quite a few people I wasn’t in touch with any longer suddenly wanted to see me. Hey guys I’m not dead yet! Anyway Jennifer I have been following you as much as I can- it all seems very familiar to me. You are much braver than me in keeping your head uncovered. I even slept in a do- rag and only took off my scarf if I wanted a seat on the Tube. So so pleased to find your blog and to hear your thoughts from your own perspective. Lots and lots of love to you xxxxx

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